Jarel's Law

Any time I go out in public unshaven to buy something like toilet paper or Preparation H, someone I know will see me. Usually multiple people.

Actually, it happened again today. I went to Wal-Mart to buy toilet tissue, and for some reason it felt really awkward. I don't know why--everybody uses it, hopefully...but there was something different.

I went to the automatic checkout, and as I was waiting in line, the cashier took one look at what I was holding (TP under one arm, printer paper in the other) and started to laugh. Hysterically. As soon as he did that, I started laughing. This drew the attention of the black guy in front of me. He turned around, and said "Aw dawg" and started to laugh as well. So the three of us are laughing when it was time for me to check out.

At this time, an old awkward girl that recognized me from my dorm days walked by, saw what was going on and started to laugh at me as well.

I go up there, scan the toilet tissue, and bag it when the machine says...

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. PLEASE REMOVE.

Uh, what? Remove it and do what? I took it out of the bag and set it down again, to no avail. The cashier that was laughing at me earlier then came over and typed in some code that let me bag the toilet tissue.

When I got to the car, I immediately checked all of the embarrassing scenarios.

Fly down? No. (I have a tendency to do that a lot)
Something on my face? No.
Teeth? No.
Kick Me sign? No.

Why did everyone laugh at me? It will forever be a mystery....

-Jarel