At one point earlier this year when I was deep in months of depression, I sat down and made a list of everything that I wanted to change about myself in order to become a perfect person. I don't believe that it's possible to be a "perfect person", it just gave me something to shoot for. In the past when I have given myself goals, they've been too easily attainable. I'll get there and have a feeling of "What now?"

In high school, I had a core group of friends that did a lot more damage than I originally thought. They literally called themselves my fan club, and spent their time telling me how amazing I was, how much they wanted my life, etc. Looking back, I don't think that I was a likable person. I had a lot of annoying personality traits--I doubt that I could be friends with the Jarel of high school. Chalk it up to immaturity, I guess.

Anyways, the funny thing is that through that period, I also had friends that I idolized. I'd secretly wish that I had their looks, money, cars, athletic ability...you know, the pointless things that make you more popular in high school. It's never-ending. I'd imagine that if you asked Michael Jordan, he has a person that he idolizes and wishes that he could be more like.

What my friends failed to see were countless problems in my private life. I've always been able to hide things like that, because I realize that a vast majority of people don't want to hear about your problems. They only want to talk about themselves, right?

This was obvious a few nights ago, when one of my friends messaged me for the first time since July. She complained about her job, complained about her new boyfriend, complained about everything. Nearly 45 minutes had passed when I realized that she hadn't once asked how I was doing or what I had been up to in the past three months. How self centered can you possibly be?

But anyways, back to my main thought.

Yesterday I was out to lunch with a few co-workers at a standard bagel/soup/sub shop in Clayton when a guy walked in. He wasn't ordering anything...it just seemed like he came in there to pick up girls. Seemingly, he had everything: he was funny, attractive, dressed nicely, everything. Within a minute, he was talking to two girls and got their phone numbers. He then went to the corner of the store, where he stood for a couple of minutes. I stopped paying attention to him and began eating.

A few minutes later, I heard a weird barking noise. Turns out that it was the guy. He was trying to hide in the corner, but he couldn't help it. My only guess is that he had Tourette's.

When we left, he was sitting outside on a bench, talking to himself. No, he wasn't wearing a Bluetooth earpiece.

It just made me think--everyone has their issues. Even though on the outside they might seem perfect, there's something. I realized this a while ago, but it's something that I often forget.

This comes from the list of things that I wanted to change about myself back in February: "-Realize that everyone has their problems. Accept them for what they are and what they bring to your life."

The whole "...what they bring to your life" thought is a blog entry for another day, though.

Sorry that this blog entry read like the end of an episode of Scrubs.